The Importance of Personal Property in Estate Planning

When it comes to what we are leaving to our children, it’s important to know whether it is a positive or negative legacy. Four reminders to keep you on the right path.


For the next 20 years, the U.S. is going to be inundated with the largest demographic of older people joining the ranks of “seniors” that this country has ever experienced. This historic trend signals dynamic changes for those in the midst of estate planning and handling estates.

As we speak, baby boomers are making life-changing decisions more proactively for themselves than their parents did, which is exactly why we should be having conversations about these hard-to-discuss issues. Opening up a dialog about the allocation and disposition of tangible assets is very important prior to mental or physical infirmity. Adult children may not realize it yet, but when the time comes, they will need help guiding their decisions and actions from their parents. Guessing is never a good idea when it comes to life or death situations, dividing heirlooms or potentially making devastating mistakes they will carry with them the remainder of their lives.

If something happened to you tomorrow, would both of your children want the antique grandfather clock, and would they fight over it? If you have promised one of your grandchildren that they could have your coin collection, does anyone else know about it? We need to be better about documenting and specifying our wishes for end-of-life issues.

At the very least, you should have a will—more than half of all Americans have not created one—and that document should appoint someone to be the executor of your estate. This is usually one of your children or someone else close to you that you trust and is capable of the task. If you want to give specific heirlooms to your children or grandchildren, itemize them in your will, and make sure several people have a copy of the document so it cannot “conveniently” disappear. If you’re as loving and giving as my parents, you will also engage in conversations about finances, insurance information and other important documents so your children know where to find them. Be sure to include passwords, as well as the locations of keys, titles and deeds, etc. The game plan is to not send your heirs into a tailspin wondering “What do we do now?”

When it comes to being aware of what we are leaving to our children, it’s important to know whether it is a positive or negative legacy. Here are a few things to remember.

1. We Exit This World the Way We Enter It—With Nothing More Than Who We Were and Have Been to Others

All of the “stuff” we have accumulated remains, of course. But, ideally, we leave behind a beautiful spirit that houses love and memories earned over a lifetime. You can’t take anything else with you, so why fight over things or allow them to be the focus? Yes, sentimental items are of great importance but if you can’t divide equitably, find a way to share or let them go.

2. Things Bring Instant Gratification, but Not Long-Lasting Happiness

Too many of us fill our lives with things to ease unresolved pain and issues. In the long run, these things end up in the hands of family or a professional such as myself to sell. There are some who believe “He who dies with the most toys wins.” There are others who feel “He who dies with the most toys, dies anyway.”

3. It Is What You Do With What You Have That Really Counts, Not What You Have

It is important to remember that there are always others dealing with greater difficulties or challenges than you are. And even while we are tightening our purse strings, we could still be giving in ways that others would be forever grateful. In every single instance without exception in dealing with a deceased person’s estate, there are items that are given away because no one else in the family wanted them or saw value in them. Why wait? Declutter the home now by dressing and feeding the less fortunate.

4. Once Someone Is Gone, Their Rich History Often Dies With Them

The most common regret I hear is that relatives wished they could have known more about their loved ones’ lives and the things they left behind. Start sharing those stories now! When the kids visit you, pay attention to which objects or photos they gravitate to. Then tell them the stories behind those things—how you met your spouse, your experiences in the military and even how you got into trouble sometimes. Observe what they respond to and keep those observations in mind as you plan your estate.

What your heirs want most of all is you. As you plan, be sure to leave a great big part of you with them, both in personal property and stories. That’s a legacy that will last.

Discussion

ASHOK K from TX posted over 5 years ago:

Great article. Any book recommendations?


CHARLES R from IL posted over 5 years ago:

Ashok, I found Julie's book "Inheriting Clutter" to be a good read. -Charles


ASHOK K from TX posted over 5 years ago:

Thanks Charles. I ordered it.


WILLIAM L from ME posted over 5 years ago:

Hello, My dad, 25 years ago asked our 3 children if there was anything that they wanted to have of his; the answers were immediate. One said an old station wagon which then traveled the country, One wanted a decrepit old leather chair, which never was used and the third wanted a set of Dutch pitchers which she still enjoys. The choices people make. However, the point is, They loved be asked by Grandpa what they wanted. In a prior lifetime a trust client of mine had in his will that if his two children wanted any tangible personal property of his they could buy it at the appraised value (from their share of the inheritance). What was left was sold at auction. I thought this strange but in time I saw his wisdom: If a child really wants an article he can buy it. My brother and I dutifully chose what we wanted from Dad's estate in a 50/50 split, He took his share home where it stayed unused in his basement for 15 years and then was sold at a garage sale. I think most of my "stuff" is still being used for the most part.


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